Happy Life/Happy Wife?
Happy life, happy wife is a bunch of crap if you ask me.
And maybe you didn’t ask, in which case, carry on with your life and skip the blog. No hard feelings. :-)
A relationship is a combination of two people. It’s “our” life together. Not one person who dictates, controls and manipulates another in a vain attempt to make her/himself happy.
If it’s truly “our” relationship, than why is only half of the couple honored as a person? Aren’t there two people with wants, needs and desires?
What makes one person’s needs more valuable than the other?
Happy life/happy wife is really saying that in “our” relationship, *I* (the wife) am the only one who matters. You shall be happy when I am happy. And when *you* (the partner) do something that makes me unhappy, is not how *I* want something done, or attempts to do things you like, *I* will make your life miserable. Because I can.
In 'our house,' I am relatively neat. My guy is not so much.
Rather than make him wrong for being messy, we've compromised.
Public/shared spaces where we have company are clean. He has his own space for his things. It looks like a garbage pile to me, but it works for him.
So I don't touch it.
It's our house, where both of who we are is honored. (And I know that there are things I do that absolutely drive him crazy; however, since I respect his needs - and not criticize or make him wrong for what he does, he respects what I need.)
I've had people ask (including my cleaning lady), 'How do you look at that all day?'
My reply is, "I don't."
Occasionally, it will catch my eye, but I am too busy working on my life, my future, my work to make that a priority. That’s where I focus my attention.
I remind myself that it's not just about me.
Here’s where it can get tricky.
We create more of where we focus. That’s the Law of Attraction.
If we focus on a mess (or that our partner didn’t take out the trash), we begin to attract more thoughts to support that. We will suddenly remember that other time he let us down and how she is always late and unreliable.
Maybe our partner is those things, but I guarantee there is much more to them than that.
There are those times they remember that we like to see the bed made, so they take the time to make it (again, it may not look the way it would if we did, but the point is in their effort to make us happy…...unless we want to focus on how we have to do everything ourselves because no one else can do it right, not even a simple task of making the bed can be done correctly. We can add that stress to our lives if we want. I just personally choose not too.).
I choose to focus on the fact that this person went against what they like to see done to do something that I like to see done. That takes thought and consideration. I appreciate that and choose to focus on all those other things that my partner does to make my life better.
Happy People/Happy Life.
It’s so much easier (and drama free) this way.
Summer Solstice Reflections
It's been a long while since I've updated and, while there has been a lot happening on my end, none of that has been visible to you.
I headed out in mid May for a two week trip to Bali, which was absolutely incredible and life changing. The earth in Bali is so sacred and so respected. It made me realize how disconnected our relationship with earth is.
Most of us probably don't even give consideration to that relationship anymore. We exist and the earth is there, occasionally getting in our way and causing annoyances. If we want to build, but there is a large rock formation underground that stops us, or we want our car to be nice and shiny but the neighbor's trees have birds that poop all over it (as examples), we are likely to be frustrated with the earth, instead of appreciating what those things actually provide.
There is no longer the connection of what the earth has actually done for us and what it gives us each and every day. We want things to be picture perfect and it's frustrating when they don't go our way. It's easier for me to see how we, in the modern world, take for granted the sacredness of the earth energy. Now this doesn't apply to everyone, and, there are enough people disconnected from that connection that it is creating chaos.
We don't consider what happens after we use a disposable wash cloth, paper towel or plastic. We throw it away and don't think of it again. Except now we are being forced to look at the damage we have caused by our convenience and carelessness.
So on this longest day of sunlight and the summer solstice, I am reflecting on this relationship with the earth and more.
Our relationship with food.
Our relationship with money.
Our relationships with people.
As I mentioned earlier, I was on an epic two week vacation in Bali through the end of May. I received some heart breaking news a few days before I was scheduled to return; a dear friend had been murdered.
I've spent the time upon returning home healing myself, recovering from travel, and processing my next steps and what it is I want to create (which is why I was radio silent to the world).
Which leads me to most valuable relationship we can have - our relationship with ourselves.
Each one of these relationships contributes to our life and life experience.
I encourage you to assess your life and all its relationships. What do you experience? Frustration? Anger? Lack? Joy? Love? Gratitude?
If our experience is not what we desire, the good news is that we can change it! We aren't doomed to go on this way forever.
Relationships take work and if we aren't seeing what we want from them, what are we actually putting into them?
The easiest way for our relationships to change is not to wait for someone else or something else to be different, so we can respond different.
The easiest way for our relationships to change is to actually be what we desire. It all begins with us.
I tried to fit in to this reality; I did everything I was 'supposed' to do: went to college, got a job, bought a house. And I was absolutely miserable. It was went I lost everything that I found the greatest gift. I found myself. I went back to my roots and explored all things 'hooey,' weird, and 'out there.' I embraced my psychic gifts and started using my intuition again, which allowed me to re-discover the magic and mystery that does exist in this life (when we are brave enough to embrace it).