Happy Life/Happy Wife?

Happy life, happy wife is a bunch of crap if you ask me.  

And maybe you didn’t ask, in which case, carry on with your life and skip the blog.  No hard feelings.  :-)

A relationship is a combination of two people.  It’s “our” life together. Not one person who dictates, controls and manipulates another in a vain attempt to make her/himself happy.

If it’s truly “our” relationship, than why is only half of the couple honored as a person?  Aren’t there two people with wants, needs and desires? 

What makes one person’s needs more valuable than the other?  

Happy life/happy wife is really saying that in “our” relationship, *I* (the wife) am the only one who matters.  You shall be happy when I am happy. And when *you* (the partner) do something that makes me unhappy, is not how *I* want something done, or attempts to do things you like, *I* will make your life miserable.  Because I can.

YUCK.  

In 'our house,' I am relatively neat.  My guy is not so much.

Rather than make him wrong for being messy, we've compromised.  

Public/shared spaces where we have company are clean.  He has his own space for his things. It looks like a garbage pile to me, but it works for him.  

So I don't touch it.

It's our house, where both of who we are is honored.  (And I know that there are things I do that absolutely drive him crazy; however, since I respect his needs - and not criticize or make him wrong for what he does, he respects what I need.)

I've had people ask (including my cleaning lady), 'How do you look at that all day?'

My reply is, "I don't." 

Occasionally, it will catch my eye, but I am too busy working on my life, my future, my work to make that a priority.  That’s where I focus my attention.

I remind myself that it's not just about me.  

Here’s where it can get tricky. 

We create more of where we focus.  That’s the Law of Attraction.

If we focus on a mess (or that our partner didn’t take out the trash), we begin to attract more thoughts to support that.  We will suddenly remember that other time he let us down and how she is always late and unreliable.

Maybe our partner is those things, but I guarantee there is much more to them than that.

There are those times they remember that we like to see the bed made, so they take the time to make it (again, it may not look the way it would if we did, but the point is in their effort to make us happy…...unless we want to focus on how we have to do everything ourselves because no one else can do it right, not even a simple task of making the bed can be done correctly. We can add that stress to our lives if we want.  I just personally choose not too.).

I choose to focus on the fact that this person went against what they like to see done to do something that I like to see done. That takes thought and consideration.  I appreciate that and choose to focus on all those other things that my partner does to make my life better.

Happy People/Happy Life.

​It’s so much easier (and drama free) this way.