I hated 'divine timing.'
You know - everything happens for a reason. Everything is working out. If it's meant to be, it will be.
I knew what I wanted. I knew the Universe delivered (ask and receive). I knew about the law of attraction.
So I didn't understand why I couldn't have what I wanted right now? Didn't the Universe know how happy it would make me?
When things didn't work out the way I thought they should (i.e. applying for the job that was the perfect fit and not getting it), I blamed bad karma. Past life. Ancient curses.
I spent the next few years (and thousands and thousands of dollars) to find out what was wrong with me, so I could clear it and have what I wanted.
I did past life regressions, healing upon healing modality, hypnosis, self help seminars, self help programs, and it wasn't until recently that I finally realized something.
There was never anything wrong with me, nothing that I had to fix.
It really was all about divine timing (and law of attraction).
I have one example that I always refer to when I think about why things work out the way they do. When I lost everything and was starting over from scratch, I decided to relocate to NYC.
I spent hours applying and interviewing for jobs. Month after month passed with no leads, no prospects, nothing.
I was really angry with the Universe. I cried. I cursed. I sulked. (and I was still in the space of trying to figure out what was wrong with me that I couldn't create something that felt so intuitively good to do!)
And then my dad died.
I realized that if had I received any of those jobs, moved to a new apartment and started building my life in a strange city when that happened, I wouldn't have had the time and space needed to grieve. I would have been given a set amount of bereavement time (assuming a company offered it, otherwise it would have been unpaid time off). And even though this loss was expected, it didn't make it hurt any less.
I was receiving unemployment at the time, so I had money coming in. I had moved into my parent's basement when I lost my home, so I was with my mom and family. I could help her organize what needed to be done, without worrying about income to pay my bills. I had the space and freedom to heal and help my mom heal.
When I was ready to start looking for a job again and devote time to my own life, I found one instantly. And everything else started falling into place after that.
Divine timing is truly a blessing. The Universe can see all. We only get to see one teeny, tiny speck of the whole. And we don't know what we don't know.
We don't know that someone else has to be hired in a new company to free up the perfect job that we are asking for. We don't know that someone doesn't really want to be married (because they say they do, or at least they say nothing so we assume they do), so we are hurt when they finally leave, even though there is someone else so much more perfect asking for us too.
When things aren't working out the way you expect, it's not because there is something wrong with you or you are cursed.
It could be that all the other pieces aren't in place yet for you to have what it is you are asking for.
And we have one important job to do as we sit and 'wait' for what we are asking for to be delivered, and it has absolutely nothing to do with checking something off a list.
Law of Attraction says like attracts like. It's important for us to not sit frustrated that we want isn't showing up or we will find more reasons to be frustrated (as I learned). It's not because we are being punished (or something is wrong with us either). It's because it's law.
So it's crucial for us to enjoy ourselves as much as possible - play, dance, sing, embrace whatever brings us joy - knowing that we are asking for will arrive.....in divine timing.
I tried to fit in to this reality; I did everything I was 'supposed' to do: went to college, got a job, bought a house. And I was absolutely miserable. It was went I lost everything that I found the greatest gift. I found myself. I went back to my roots and explored all things 'hooey,' weird, and 'out there.' I embraced my psychic gifts and started using my intuition again, which allowed me to re-discover the magic and mystery that does exist in this life (when we are brave enough to embrace it).