My Thoughts on Death and Dying

Death is a funny thing.  Many people will avoid the topic, deny it, ignore it and flat out pretend it doesn’t exist.  And then when it happens - and it will find each and every one of us - people are shocked and some will spiral further into disbelief and denial.  

The focus will be on how we didn’t want death to happen, regret over things unsaid and time together not spent, frustration, anger, and sadness at not being able to do anything to change what’s happened (and bring someone back to life).

We remember the good times and forget the bad. We glorify the memory and wish that we could have had more time.

But the harsh truth is that if we had had more time, we likely wouldn’t have spent more time together. We would have probably continued on with our same routine and habits, making the daily tasks and to do’s more important.

Now if we had notice - like if we know someone is terminal with cancer, that usually changes things.  We know that our time together is short and we make the time to spend together.

The reality is all of us are dying.  Every single one of us is dying a little more every day.  It’s just that the majority of us don’t come with an expiration date for all to see.

This month marks the one year anniversary of my sister’s sudden passing.  I will never forget that day - where I was, receiving multiple phone calls from my mother, and my mother’s heart-wrenching screams as she yelled,“she’s dead!”

Those moments will forever be etched in my memory.  And I know that if I had known my sister was dying on that day one year ago, I would not change a single thing. I’ve had enough experience with death to make life a priority.  People and experiences take priority over tasks and to do’s.

Rather than focus on a situation that I am powerless to change, I choose to celebrate the memory of lives that were lived. I know that those who passed would not want me to stop living, simply because they did.  

I have a tradition of honoring those who died with doing something they enjoyed while they were living.  It makes me happy to remember the person they were and celebrate them in a way I know they would enjoy.

​Life is short.  Embrace the now.  Take the time to play.  Celebrate with those you love while they are living.