I've met so many people who are single and looking, and each one of them has a similar mentality.
"All the good ones are taken."
"There's only creeps on apps."
While some of these may be true (there are creeps EVERYWHERE), the more we buy into these beliefs - by repeating them to ourselves and others - the more we will create that as our reality.
If you've followed me at all, you know that I am huge believer in the Law of Attraction.
I'm a huge believer because it works. (And if you don't believe me, experiment for yourself.....but if you already know it's not going to work and nothing is going to change that, and you're only trying it out so you can prove it doesn't work and prove me wrong, congratulations! You win. The Law of Attraction will make that happen too).
Anyway.....if we are saying that 'all the good ones are taken' or 'dating sucks', how much fun are we actually going to have?
Not a whole lot. And the Universe (via the Law of Attraction) will deliver us people that fit our belief that dating sucks or there are no good ones left.
I took 2 years off from dating after my last long term relationship. I needed time to figure things out and figure out who I was without a relationship. When I was ready to start dating again, I knew enough of the Law of Attraction to know that I had to let all those common-held beliefs go (yes, I had them too).
I decided to make dating as much fun as possible. It became my little playground, and not at the expense of another person. It became a place for me to play with what I wanted and have fun with how it showed up.
First, I got really clear on what I required from a partner. I wrote down a list of all the qualities I wanted in my relationship.
I let go of the superficial things (6'3", muscular, brown eyes). I was willing to allow the Universe to deliver me the person I was asking for - regardless of what I thought he should look like.
I listed qualities like honest, intelligent, compassionate, sexually compatible (this is a super neglected area in most people's lives and one that is so important....IMHO).
I believed that this person was out there, so now that I had my list of what I was looking for, it was the Universe's job to allow them to show up. I just had to do my part by showing up as well. (But if you don't believe there is someone for you, you may want to take a look at that and see how far you'll get with that belief...I'm just saying)
I signed up for dating apps; I exchanged numbers with people I met in person.
I went on dates!
Prior to my 2 year hiatus from dating, I used to find someone I thought was attractive and that I was attracted to and try to fit them into my world. I overlooked the qualities that didn't match and focused on the ones that did. Truth be told - I didn't even know what qualities I wanted either. I just knew I wanted a relationship.
Terrible mistake. I learned that what I was doing was basically settling for the first person that came along and tried to make them "the one," just so that I could be in a "relationship."
So when I started dating this time around, I treated it like an interview process, which is essentially what it was. I was dating perspective guys to see if they matched those qualities that I desired in a relationship. If more than one was missing, I let them go with gratitude (and a message to the Universe of, "Next!")
I chose to go on dates to restaurants I had been wanting to try or activities I had been wanting to do. I chose to make it fun with no expectation or pressure of making this 'till death do us part.'
I stopped making the other person's opinion more valuable than mine.
You see, when I used to date, I was always more concerned with what my date would think. Was my make up smooth? Was I bloated? Was I being awkward instead of funny? What would he think if I ate this?"
But after 2 years of working on me, I wasn't about to let that happen again. I didn't care what my date thought. (I actually had a date once beg me not to order garlic fries from the menu.....which is exactly what I ordered. Naturally, there was no second date and I was saved from a relationship where someone feels it's okay to tell me what to do.)
What I thought was most important this time around. What I thought of them as a person - were they kind? Were they funny? Was there chemistry? Did they match the qualities I was asking for?
Of course, I couldn't tell all these things on a first date, which is why I found it exciting to make it to a second and third date. I could discover more about this person to see if they were a match to what I was asking for!
That person did show up. It was not the person I expected, and because I was willing to let go of what I thought my guy had to look like (all those physical characteristics that we make so important), I was able to let my guy in to create the relationship that we were both asking for.
You see, that's how the Law of Attraction works. Whatever you are asking for, there is a match somewhere out there. We just have to be open to allow the Universe to deliver.
I tried to fit in to this reality; I did everything I was 'supposed' to do: went to college, got a job, bought a house. And I was absolutely miserable. It was went I lost everything that I found the greatest gift. I found myself. I went back to my roots and explored all things 'hooey,' weird, and 'out there.' I embraced my psychic gifts and started using my intuition again, which allowed me to re-discover the magic and mystery that does exist in this life (when we are brave enough to embrace it).