The Relationship 'Trap'

When I was growing up, I remember the emphasis being on 'The Relationship." 

Find someone.  Make sure they had a good job and were a good person.  Get married and have kids.

That's about the extent of what I was taught about relationships.

If we look back historically, the emphasis was on the relationship because it was a means for survival.  We relied on each other for food and shelter.  The goal was to reproduce: more hands meant more help providing for the family.  Women were at a disadvantage in providing for a family and it was important to find someone who could help care for you.

Thankfully, times have changed.  We live in a time where relationships are a choice.  They are no longer a means for survival.  Women are able to fully support themselves and there are an abundance of opportunities for everyone.

But while the dynamics of relationships have changed, our reasons for choosing them have not.  Many of us are still taught that outdated idea of find a partner, get married, have kids.

There is little consideration given to what type of partner actually works for us.  (And if you were lucky enough to be taught that, congratulations! You're one step ahead of the game!)

Are you someone that values independence and likes to travel?  Find a partner who is secure enough to honor that, rather than settling for someone that expects you to be home with them all. the. time.

Do you desire a partner who is active and social?  Or do you prefer someone who is more of a homebody?

Are you an empath or highly sensitive person who needs alone time to recharge? Or do you prefer having someone who is always around? 

If you have never given this consideration, it's a great time to start. Even if you have been in a committed relationship for awhile, knowing what you require/desire from a relationship makes it easier to ask for and create.

For more on this, check out last week's Friday at Five.